RAD

So I am pretty sure I have what they call.....(RAD)"reactive attachment disorder". My sister had been talking about it with me around a year ago and I had kinda thought that I had it because I fit a bunch of the symptoms. She had gone and seen a therapist and the therapist had told her that she had it, and since her and I are pretty similar I assumed I had it as well.


WELL, I looked it up again after a situtation occured and I realized I totally DO have it. of course I don't fit alllll the symptoms that it shows (such as compulsive caregiving and suicide attempts) but I really fit a lot of them. Especially in relationships.


I seriously cannot have a long term relationship. Now there has been only one guy ever that I have been able to have stronger feelings for for longer than a few months, but that's it. every other guy I run away from or I can't bring myself to get close to them. and even that one relationship with that guy was so complicated that I don't even think anyone could call it a serious long term relationship.


these are mostly the ones I have problems with...

• discomfort with anger (I literally feel physically sick when I argue with somebody else)
• no longterm relationships (hence the explanation above)
• unlikely to idealize the love relationship (so I don't know what love is, yadda yadda)
• views others as untrustworthy (I'm so bad at this. I trust like MAYBE 3 people in my life)
• views partner as desirable but unpredictable (sometimes available, sometimes not)
• perceives others as difficult to understand

Anyway.....I'm not sure what to do now that I know this information. How does one fix something like this dumb disorder? Maybe I will just get over it as I grow up....